women on the water
November 11th 2006 19:33
Some women on the water
Women on the Water.
What are your feelings about women on the water? They certainly add to the nautical picture, don’t disturb the natural scenery and make great eye candy on a boat. But their overall role has changed over the years. From the time the first sailors smuggled them on board and disguised them as men (very successfully), they have become an integral part of many crew. Quite a few have eclipsed the sailing careers of male skippers by showing great feats of seamanship and many hold records that men are yet to conquer.
What do men do in their quest to have women join them as crew. Mostly they shout! The higher the stress level for the skipper as he manoeuvres his vessel in unfamiliar ways the higher the level of shouting to the female crew. Some don’t even know they are doing it. Remember back to your favourite anchorage. The barby is smoking with snags sizzling away. You are clutching your favourite sundowner and your eyes are drooping with pure pleasure under the shade of your wide brimmed straw hat. Arrive, himself, importantly at the wheel or tiller of his boat. Drives straight to the most available spot and bellows to his partner “let her go”. Now partner is crouched over the anchor, looking at the water and what she needs to do. He is yelling into the wind, she if she hears him replies into the water. Not a great start, neither can understand the other and one and he may even be talking in a foreign language. “Drop the pick, let out more rode, how’s the scope, three more fathoms if you please. Make it fast around the Samson post, come on we need more bites than that!” “Grrrrrr why doesn’t he say what he means?” And of course the yelling gets louder and louder and even if there is a role reversal and he is at the pointy end and she has the helm they still don’t hear or understand one another. Solution? Hand signals with the person on the bow taking charge the moment the signal is given to lower away.
A lot of women go to driving schools to learn to drive as husband, father, brother, boy friend do a lot of yelling. Why do men yell so much? Because despite all their technical know how they are poor teachers. They really do love their partner very dearly but they have no idea how to impart this knowledge on, to women anyway. So women if you need to get yourself off to the local sailing school, (www.budgetsailingschool) I can whole heartedly recommend as it is mine. I have worked for many more schools and they all have a bigger percentage of women learning than men.
My observations are that they can sail a much straighter course than men, when it comes to multi tasking such as bring up the drinks and sandwiches which they have just laboured over through three or four severe tacks in huge seas, then trim the headsail, tidy up the sheets, take down navigational bearings, give tactical racing advice and be prepared to shake their boobs at any opposition boat to distract the crew that looks like it my be overtaking and steer a straight compass course as he relieves himself over the stern. She thinks “one day he is going to fall overboard doing that and I am glad I learnt how to do man overboard retrieval” Women also remember not to fart to windward, complain about the white wine being cold enough and they make pleasurable companions.
While I have sailed with some women who learned the hard way, from yelling men and now they in turn yell, swear like a navvie, piss standing over the back of the boat and are the most reliable hand of fists in a waterfront bar brawl, they are the exception rather than the rule.
Women on the water, I love ‘em.
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